Match dot Cyberspace - a Dangerous Dating Game

At some point in our lives if we are still single, we become prey to the dating match. The almighty dating machine led us to believe that we could acquire the perfect mate online by checking the magic boxes to determine how tall, rich, beautiful, thin or smart we could design them, shell out $20 bucks and presto- instant life mate. Although the $20 client had a little less gullibility than the $200 client did. They were generally the bip, bam thank-you mam’ type and stalked the internet looking for the desolate and insecure.

Perfect Mate Guaranteed

The client who dug deeper into the pocket was guaranteed that a perfect match could be made for the right price. Thus, the hour-long personality profile was invented. So what is the personality profile? It is the newest game in town. The questions are very specific and cover personal preferences that include background, religious beliefs, income, preferred income of your match, and how far you are willing to travel to meet your perfect mate. The questions dig deep, and they are rephrased so many different ways that you cannot lie, even if you wanted to. After hours of baring your soul, the dating gurus present you with an impressive psychological profile that tells you how wonderful you are. Impressive… so impressive that you can’t help believe that if the opposite sex (your dream match) was scrutinized as closely, you are sure to be rewarded with a flawless match.

In theory, that should work, however the almighty dollar rears its ugly head and the personal touch disappears into an unfeeling, unconcerned computer program that matches according to data input. So what is wrong with that?

Have you ever called a company to get information and you got the automated, one-sided conversation? The voice may have been friendly and pleasant, but because the program is impersonal, you do not get your questions answered, but will get a general response. Now you get the idea. Matching data does not necessarily match two human beings.

How It All Started

Let us go a little deeper and really analyze computer matching. The very first computer-matching program was called Project Match. In 1977, it was conducted by the Department of Health Education and Welfare -HEW (now known as Department of Health & Human Services DHSS. "The first significant match of benefit programs was conducted in 1976. The Federal Bureau of Investigations matched the employee records of various governmental employers in the Chicago area with Welfare files" [Kusserow 1983, p.1].

So what does this mean? In short, personal data surveillance; in other words decisions being made about people and not made on a face to face contact basis, but instead by information stored in remote systems and interpreted by the user. Our personal image becomes a data image, which can be manipulated…scary, very scary.

Children Playing with Fire

Here we have a behemoth in the hands of “children”, so to speak. Our psychological data is being stored by dating services and sold as a commodity, and we cover their business expense. We are allowing our precious, personal lives, possibly our future families to be governed by computer programs and their creators. We have become cattle- herded and bred for profit.

On the flip side, one might feel justified in presuming that this is the only way to go according to modern times. One might even feel comfort in the hands of techies and engineers. They are the experts. Unfortunately, it is not about intelligence levels of the professionals, but about possibility of error.

According to Roger Clark in his dissertation DATAVEILLANCE BY Governments: The Technique of Computer Matching , “Computer matching is a critical test of the resolve of information technologists to accept responsibility for the impact of their body of knowledge on people. It is not, in itself, an evil; but it is capable of being used evilly, or so insensitively that it will do significant harm to individuals, to groups, and to society as a whole. It shares that feature with many other techniques which are not yet empirically researchable, such as profiling, public networking, voice recognition, virtual reality in entertainment and education, the substitution of digital simulation for physical experimentation and intelligent robotics. It is vital that research be undertaken on such topics, and that that research be reported on in journals which reach the wide spread of academics and professionals, and not just discussed among a small clique of 'socially aware' fringe-dwellers (Clarke 1988).”

http://www.anu.edu.au/people/Roger.Clarke/DV/

Taking the Bitter with the Sweet

Things are not always all bad. Oftentimes it is feasible to take the bad with the good. However, just how far do we want to go? We have a clear picture of the bad and good in Clark’s following statement: “Computer matching became economically feasible in the early 1970s, as a result of developments in information technology (IT). The technique has been progressively developed since then, and is now widely used, particularly in government administration and particularly in the three countries mentioned above. It has the capacity to assist in the detection of error, abuse and fraud in large-scale systems, but in so doing may jeopardise the information privacy of everyone whose data is involved, and even significantly alter the balance of power between consumers and corporations, and citizens and the State.”

Everything in Moderation

Times have changed, but we do not have to rush headlong and desperate into the future. We still have the ability to control our lives, who we meet and how we interact with them. However, as long as we demand instant gratification and Hollywood fantasy, we are prey to the dating gurus who dangle our wishes before us in a virtual world. The bottom line is we have to get real or we will no longer be real.

Long live the dating Gods!

Thanks for stopping by.

See you next time. 

On Writing Business E-Mail

E-mail is fast, but is it simple?

Well, we’re back to lunchbox learning and many people have asked me to give a few pointers on the how-to of Business e-mail.

Before you begin your correspondence, it may be a good idea to type it first on a word document, and later cut and paste it onto your e-mail body. It is always good to clarify what the action or deliverable is, and then declare it at the very beginning. Make sure your subject is appropriate for e-mail and not something that should be discussed in private or at a meeting.

Start with your subject line. Tell the recipient exactly what this message is about.

In writing your message, make sure it is concise, clear, properly punctuated and correctly spelled. Keep it brief. The last thing a busy person wants to do is to read an endless e-mail.

If you need a reply, make it easy for the recipient to say a simple yes or no by giving a date or time for availability. Never use all caps for emphasis, it looks like you are screaming at a person and do not use emoticons or smiley faces. It is unprofessional and you may not be taken seriously.

Use clear language, not jargon that is specific only to a certain group or company. Write in the active as opposed to the passive voice. It sends a stronger message. (Example: John received the letter instead of The letter was received by John).

Before you hit that send button, consider:

Proofread/edit. Read to see if there are any errors in grammar, punctuation, or typos. Make a list of possible errors – sentence structure, grammar, punctuation, spelling, complete sentence, incorrect subject-verb agreement, misplaced modifier, incorrect pronouns, unclear pronoun reference, and/or redundant, long sentences.

Make sure you have told the recipient what they need to know to take action or make a decision

Check the tone. Is it offensive, libelous, or defamatory, abrupt? Does it adhere to your company’s standards and/or policies? Is the language too technical?

Are you sending to the right people? Do they have the answers or can the make a decision on the requested action. Have they requested your e-mail?

If sending attachments, is the recipient willing to open it? Did you attach the file before sending the message? Do the cc: and bcc: people really need the information? Did you briefly describe the attacments in the body of the e-mail?

Does your signature have the correct contact information?

Take note of this when replying to e-mail:

Make sure the response is necessary.

Know if it is it better to reply in person or by phone

Make sure you are not answering in anger, compose yourself first

Control back and forth e-mail. Know how/when to end it.

Make sure your message is appropriate

Like so many of our files, you must manage your e-mail files. If not, it can become a nightmare. So simply begin by making folders and label them clearly. Make sure your software saves sent messages. Keep your system up to date. From time to time, review your saved messages, and delete what is obsolete and archive those that are important. Keep your trash folder empty and don’t forget to back up your folders.

E-mail can be very distracting and can easily take up time that should be spent doing other things. So, if possible schedule your mail checks and set aside a specific time to read and respond. Your title line will indicate what should take preference. Do not check mail if you are on the phone, in a meeting or doing anything else that can distract you from what you are reading. E-mail checking time should be exclusive, so that you don’t miss something important or make mistakes in your response.

The following link is for my visual learners but it will benefit everyone. You'll have to cut and paste. My html skills are a little on the blink today.

http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/results.aspx?qu=e-mail+template/

This site will show you everything you want to know about distribution lists and how to create an e-mail template.  Enjoy.

So, there you have it. 

Til next time

Death by Peanut Part II of a Two-Part Series

In part one we talked about an allergy to peanuts that could actually take a life. We interviewed a parent, Mrs. Berry from Pennsylvania who shared with us the story of her five-year-old daughter and the solutions her and her husband have for instilling independence in a chronically ill child.

The child has started school full-time and as promised, I was given a follow-up interview with Mrs. Berry to find out what parents with similar situations could possibly expect once their allergic child has to be in school all day.

I had very specific questions, so the following will be a question and answer dialog.

Interviewer: How does a parent get a school to make an exception for just one child?

Mrs. Berry: When I called around to different schools asking what protective measures they had for a child who could not be in the room with the smell of peanuts; most schools said “none” and were reluctant to do anything in the way of service. I finally found a school that seemed sensitive to my needs. At least they were willing to talk about it.

Interviewer: Whom did you have to talk to?

Mrs. Berry: I met with the principle, her teacher, and the supervisor of the cafeteria. They were wonderful. The teacher came up with something called a “buddy” plan. They would put her in the nurse’s office at lunchtime with a volunteer partner to eat with her.

Interviewer: The nurse’s office? How did you feel about that?

Mrs. Berry: I was so happy that they could help, I didn’t care. But as it turned out, it did present a problem.

Interviewer: How so?

Mrs. Berry: Initially the first week children volunteered to eat with her and they loved the idea of being a special buddy. Then the next time he
asked for volunteers, there was a problem.

Interviewer: Why? What happened?

Mrs. Berry: My little girl was so sad. The teacher had went around the room asking who wanted to be today’s buddy and each child said no. So, my little girl crossed her fingers really tight and the very last child said yes. It turned out that the parents had a problem with the children eating in the nurse’s office and eating with her. The kids love my little girl, and when another child volunteered again, some of the parents sent their
children to school every day with peanut butter sandwiches.

Interviewer: The adults sent peanut butter to school? Did they know what affect it had on your child?

Mrs. Berry: Everyone knew. But, I was not really shocked or anything because when I was trying to find her a school, it was the parents who said that they should not have to deny their child peanut butter because another child couldn’t have it.

Interviewer: Because another child couldn’t have it…not because another child could die from it?

Mrs. Berry: That’s the way some people feel.

Interviewer: Where does this leave your little daughter?

Mrs. Berry: It leaves her right back to the beginning, where we teach her to overcome each hurdle. Her dad is a Physical Therapist and he has taken her to work with him many times. She even has her own little doctor bag and stethoscope and she “helps” him with his elderly patients. She loves it. So, in her saddest times he kept saying to her, “Honey, you know you are a medical person. So, don’t worry about eating in the nurse’s office. When the kids get sick, they do it before they get to the office, so any place is the same as the nurse’s office. And don’t worry about the kids not being able to eat with you. They all like you and you can see them in the playground”.

Interviewer: And that worked?

Mrs. Berry: It helped her to cope. Of course, we pray a lot.

Interviewer: So how are things to date?

Mrs. Berry: Well, there is one little boy who is very protective of her, and his mom is an absolute angel. They are best friends and he sticks with her no matter what. I think it is because of his determination the other kids are coming around. I hear now that some kids are throwing tantrums if the days pass and they don’t get an opportunity to eat with her. Also some of the older kids from time to time poke their heads into the nurse’s office and want to know what is going on and my little girl proudly explains peanut allergies to them. It is amazing to see that children have no
prejudices or superiority. It’s kind of sad that we lose that innocence.

Our children are suffering from a life-threatening allergy and they cannot stay home and be protected. They have to be in a place all day that neither cares nor knows how to respond to their allergic reaction. The place is our public schools.

It is obvious that public schools have their share of problems and it will take a lot of political changes and new regulations before our new “special” children are provided for. In the meanwhile, is there anything that anyone is doing to address this new threat?

I am happy to say that US Researchers, Yale Medical Groups, Duke Medical Center, and many Pediatric Allergists are putting forth their best effort to conquer this newest scourge. The following links will give you a heads-up on exactly what measures are being taken to prevent and cure this new threat to our children.

http://www.itwire.com.au/content/view/13745/1066/

http://www.cbc.ca/health/story/2007/05/04/peanut-allergy.html

http://www.wtnh.com/Global/story.asp?S=5071649&nav=3YeX

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/OnCall/story?id=2107158&page=1

http://www.webmd.com/allergies/news/20030710/treatment-peanut-allergy

These additional links will take you to companies that make peanut-free foods, and friendly-fun “no peanut zone” signs for schoolrooms, and authors that have written children’s books on the subject that help the allergic child to cope.

http://www.divvies.com/

http://www.allergicchild.com/peanut_allergy.htm

http://amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw/104-6504777-9357516?initialSearch=1&url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=Allie+the+Elephant&Go.x=0&Go.y=0&Go=Go

I’d like to close this report with a very appropriate line from an old, old song in hopes that it will uplift all of those who are coping with allergic and otherwise ill children and give them the strength to continue on.

“I believe that children are the future. Teach them well and let them lead the way.”

Darn, and I thought I had finished crying, but putting this story together started the water-works again. The little girl is my granddaughter, and I’ll tell you, this is the most difficult interview I have ever had to do. But if it is only a drop in a sea of change, it was worth it.

Next week, we’ll get back to our lunchbox learning.

See you soon 

What's "In Style" for Academia?

Okay, time for academic info.

For some of you this will be a review and for others who are anticipating writing a thesis or as some call it dissertation, this will be new. For all, it will be a helpful resource.

So, what is a dissertation? Simply put, a  student (author) presents a document that explains all of his/her research and findings. This document supports his/her application for a degree. And how do we begin our dissertation? Start by understanding your assignment, then think about research.

Before you begin your research, ask yourself these kinds of questions.

What do I want to be my great discovery?

How will I go about discovering it?

What types of people am I going to observe, speak to or survey?

How do I get to them?

How do I feel about this topic?

How do I keep my biases out of my research methods?

What are my expectations in terms of discovery?

Stay with me now; this is good stuff. So, after you’ve answered these questions then start you primary research. Chill out, don’t panic…easy definition. Primary research is just research that you go out and collect yourself. You know… interviews, surveys, observations, ethnographic research. See, just a logical approach. In addition to primary research, there is also secondary research (journals, magazines, books, etc). It is better to use both of them.

So after you have collected everything, you analyze it. Well done! Now how do you start you paper? Here are the steps:

Research

Outline

Draft

Revise

Edit

Proofread

Then you format it according to style.

For each discipline (arts, humanities, social sciences, psychology, etc) there is a specific way to format (arrange your paper). They call that "style" and they use specific styles so that readers have a familiar structure to help understand text. It helps them to follow ideas and locate information that interests them. Each discipline has a style manual. What is a style manual?

It is basically a handbook that shows you step by step the accepted format for citing (quoting someone or something that supports you argument or idea) references (source of information) in your document.

Still with me...?     Good, I’ll go on. There are almost as many style guides as there are disciplines, but I’m going to list the ones that are used by academicians.

AAA (American Anthropological Association)

APA (American Psychological Association)

ASA (American Sociological Association)

CBE (Council of Biological Editors)

Chicago Style

MLA (Modern Language Association)

Turabian

Harvard

In future journals, we’ll discuss each style guide and all their little differences. But don’t panic, you don't have to know them all. At least you guys just need to know the one that applies to you. I, however have to edit this stuff. So, let’s start with the APA style.

The American Psychological Association (5^th Edition) style is used for Social Sciences, such as Psychology, Linguistics, Sociology, Economics, Business, Nursing and Criminology. It sets standards for (1)organizing content, (2)writing style, (3)citing reference, and (4)how to prepare a manuscript for publication. It also spells out the names and order of headings, the formatting and organization of citations and references and the correct way to arrange tables (information in columns), figures (numbers or symbols), footnotes (information at the foot of a page) and appendices (additional information).

It uses Harvard Referencing or the author-date system of citations and parenthetical referencing which looks like this:

Smith, John. (2005). Playing nicely together. St. Petersburg, FL (USA)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harvard_referencing

If you find the stylebook a little difficult, the internet has simplified a lot of the information. I found a link that will show you very specific steps in citing and documenting sources http://www.bedfordstmartins.com/online/cite6.html

I also really like Owl Perdue’s writing lab. I think it has a simple approach to explaining APA formatting; take a look http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/560/08/

Now some of you get confused about headings, so I’ll try to break it down for you.

Headings are used to give articles a formal, ranked order. Okay we are going to refer to the words superordinate and subordinate. Just substitute the words superordinate with higher rank and subordinate with lower rank. Here we go. This info is directly quoted from Wikipedia. It helps if you read it out loud and very slowly.

According to APA style, if an article has:

• One level: use Level 1 headings
• Two levels: use Level 1 (superordinate) and Level 3 (subordinate) headings
• Three levels: use Level 1, Level 3 and Level 4 (from superordinate to subordinate)
• Four levels: use Level 1, Level 2, Level 3 and Level 4 (from superordinate to subordinate)
• Five levels: use Level 5, Level 1, Level 2, Level 3 and Level 4

Now remember, you can’t use numbers or letters for headings and there are no guidelines for more than five headings. The following is the way the levels should be typed: (Also directly quoted from Wikipedia).

• Level 5: CENTERED UPPERCASE HEADING
• Level 1: Centered Uppercase and Lowercase Heading
• Level 2: Centered, Italicized, Uppercase and Lowercase Heading
• Level 3: Flush Left, Italicized, Uppercase and Lowercase Side Heading
• Level 4: Indented, italicized, lowercase paragraph heading ending with a period.

Here is a sample paper for our visual learners: http://depts.gallaudet.edu/englishworks/writing/apa_sample.html

The headings are level 1, but you get the idea. (example: What AD(H)D Is)

That’s it, guys. Good job. You stayed awake.

Had the greatest follow-up interview with Mrs. Berry (Death by Peanut) and can’t wait to post on the next journal. You are not going to believe what I was told.

See you soon, 

Death by Peanut - First of a Two-Part Series

Welcome back. Before we get into the next fascinating article called "Death by Peanut", I'd like to take a moment to encourage parents who are dealing with children who have life-threatening allergies to "keep the faith" and remind them that they are not alone in their struggles.

This article deals with the thing that is dearest to my heart...children. It's not a fun, bouncy story like one that should be about kids. But it is a serious, vitally informative report that I hope will help the vast number of people who take care of others with peanut allergies.

I was shocked to find out that peanuts could kill. Imagine having a child who was so allergic that just smelling peanuts would be life threatening. Many individuals, under these circumstances would never let the child out of their sight. However, because of the constant danger to exposure, it is mandatory that these children be independent as soon as possible.

How do parents help a child with allergies so severe become independent? At what age in the child’s life do they begin the training?

This category of parent has to be less dependent on the idea that they must provide the child’s every need. A mother that I interviewed suggested that the perfect time to start teaching independence is three years of age. Why so young? Because the child is in so much danger the sooner, those types of children become self- aware, the more they are able to achieve a margin of safety. The child with a peanut allergy can suffer additionally with Asthma, making that a treacherous combination.

According to Medline Plus, asthma victims suffer a chronic disease that causes airways to become sore and swollen after exposure to various allergens. Left untreated it can be life threatening. http://medlineplus.gov/

An allergy to peanuts, on the other hand causes an immune system malfunction, which can result in Anaphylactic Shock.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/peanut-allergy/DS00710/DSECTION=3/

The Anaphylaxis, if severe enough, can kill.

http://www.users.globalnet.co.uk/~aair/anaphylaxis.htm#SEC1/

It appears contradictory to imply that sick (chronically allergic) children should be more independent. The very nature of their illness requires parents to be extra wary, extra cautious and extra protective. Is it realistic then, for a parent to consider leaving these children somewhat on their own, just as they would leave children that are not ill?

The average child (with or without allergies) from ages three to five learns to brush their teeth, bring mom and/or dad the combs, brushes, hair accessories, etc to groom their hair, dress themselves, answer the phone and many learn to dial the phone in case of emergency. They also can recite their phone number, address, full name, and read and write on an appropriate level. Some even help with the laundry or dishes.

The child that suffers from chronic allergies needs to do all of the above and additionally, its illness demands the following ten precautions:

1.Taking medicine

2. Reading food labels

3. Abstaining from foods that contain allergens

4. Avoiding air that contains cross contamination

5. Sharing foods

6. Sharing eating utensils

7. Avoid kissing one who has eaten peanuts

8. Standing up to peer pressure and ridicule

9. Stop playing and rest when symptoms of the allergy appear (shortness of breath, coughing, etc).

This is obviously a tall, adult order. However, is this responsibility and ability to carry it out just reserved for the parent? Hardly. It would be just as naive to think that a child cannot do this, as it is to think that every adult can open a childproof cap.

On interviewing the above- mentioned parent, Mrs. Berry from Pennsylvania, who has a five-year-old child with unfortunately both asthma and peanut allergies, I received the following information after asking these questions: Is it possible for a child like your daughter to be independent with all of the demands of her illness? Can you share your training tips or any advice with parents in your similar situation? Mrs. Berry’s reply was:

"To answer the first question, yes, it definitely is. Children are amazing. My advice…well…When my daughter was three, my husband and I started showing her how to take apart and put back together her Nebulizer.

http://www.cchs.net/health/health-info/docs/0300/0352.asp?index=4297/

We made it a fun game for her. By the time she was five, we switched to the Acro Chamber http://www.aerochambervhc.com/ and she now administers it to herself, while I watch, of course.

My biggest trauma was worrying about her starting school. I feared the lunches that contained peanut butter sandwiches that the other kids would bring, her exchanging foods and eating from other children’s forks or spoons. I was terrified that if anyone even kissed her on the cheek that had been eating peanuts, it would be fatal. If she even smelled peanuts in the air-there was a severe reaction. Someone has to read all food labels in case of peanut derivatives being part of the contents. I questioned who would take time to read labels in a school cafeteria. As if that wasn’t bad enough, I worried what would happen when she played with other kids and started to have an asthma attack and she would not stop playing because she didn’t want the kids to make fun of her.

I suffered endless, sleepless nights. I realized that I couldn’t inflict my fears on her and I couldn’t be with her all the time. So, we taught her self-defense. She now shows the babysitter how to administer her medicine, she does not eat treats in school, but she happily brings them home and we “check” them together. The foods she takes to school we call “special” foods and all the kids want to be special, so they can’t wait to try her snack foods. She realizes that she cannot be in the lunchroom when any derivative of peanuts is being served, so the wonderful school that she is in gave her a “buddy system” that gives her a buddy to eat with outside the lunchroom on the “peanut” days. The little ones love this fun behavior. Of course, she can’t read food labels, but adults think she is adorable when she asks them to read. That happens when we leave her with relatives or babysitters. She learned early on that continuing to play when her chest got tight would make her sick, so only very recently she has begun to stop and rest before going back to play. That one was hard.

I guess I just want to say to other parents that you have to start them young. Some people think three years old is too young, but how many of us put our kids in dance or gymnastic classes at that age. Talk to them and make a game out of training them. Make them proud, like telling them that their snacks are special, etc. And, above all don’t dump your fear on them. They are very capable of being independent, but we have to trust that, and give them the confidence that we don’t always have.”

I asked Mrs. Berry if I could keep in touch and monitor her little girl’s progress with the upcoming school year. This will be the first time that she is away for a full day. Mrs. Berry agreed, so I’ll keep you posted.

In the next interview, I plan to cover how the school reacted and what effect possible changes had on the other students. I’ll also include some information on if the medical field has any plans to eliminate this threat. 

You don't want to miss the follow-up on this report.

See you soon.